Merry Christmas, everyone!
I remember when I was younger (perhaps 11 or 12), I used to really want to write a Christmas letter for my family because the idea was just such a romantic (in the sense of idealistic) one and I was already pretty serious at that age. So after seeing a couple different ones this year on Facebook and another blog I decided to have a go at it myself. Now the problem is that I'm the only one that's a part of my family unit (or at least the only visible one). And it's that parenthetical addition that let me feel that writing a letter from an unmarried, childless guy wasn't an exercise in narcissism or self-centeredness. Because when you know God, you're not the only one in your family unit and it makes all the difference in the world as you grow in that knowledge. So here's the story of me and my God and the goings-on of the past year.
I'll start a little bit before last year to give more context. I arrived back from two years of teaching English in Korea in August of 2012 planning to return in a month or two after a chance to regroup. I decided to do this myself and didn't bother consulting my Father about the decision. I simply decided that of course I would return because it was a good source of income. I'd been searching for a new school for the past couple of months and continued (in theory) for a couple weeks more into my vacation. My vacation consisted of traveling from Baltimore, MD to Amsterdam, NY to visit a close friend pastoring a church up there. I spent about 10 days with him and his new wife and their families. Mike was the first to urge me to reconsider returning to Korea. He knew it had been anything BUT a walk in the park for me spiritually and emotionally and urged me to consider the wisdom of it and consult my Father. He didn't press me on it, though, and my journey continued to the town of my alma mater, Liberty University, Lynchburg, VA.
So I stayed about a week in Lynchburg visiting my old haunts, seeing several friends and old church comrades. One of the nights while I was down there I had a rotten sleep and the thought "Should I really return to Korea?" kept flying around my head in a circle. I thought about the various logical aspects and weighing my desire to get married, the shortage of women who spoke fluent English over there, the spiritual struggles I'd encountered and the intense feelings of loneliness and isolation that had swept over my soul from time to time. In the end, I came to the conclusion that the ONLY reason I wanted to return was the money. So I consulted with a couple of older friends and they didn't feel that returning for solely financial reasons was honoring to God and displayed a lack of trust in His ability to provide for my needs. Well at that point I was a bit dazed realizing that I likely wouldn't be returning to Korea despite my having stored a lot of my personal possessions in a suitcase over there.
To complete my vacation, I flew out to the West Coast to visit another close friend and his wife and son in the small northern California town of Yreka. While there, I contacted my dad and expressed the situation I was in having decided not to return to Korea and needing a place to live. He and my stepmom, with incredible grace and understanding opened their home to me for a few months while I figured out how to get back on my feet again. A job was the first order and I found one shortly after starting my search at Walmart in October 2012. I have (more or less) been there for a full year making various excursions to different places in the search for more gainful employment.
The real theme of my life during the past year has been grace and contentment balanced by continuing to venture out to move forward in life. Among the things I can say I am most thankful for this year are my church (Hanover Valley) where I have sat under a man who preaches the fullness and depth of God's love for people who are weak and sinful and ignored or rejected by the world, my mentor Bruce for letting me share my life with him, and (more than anything) for the reality that my Father loves me so patiently when I get life wrong again and again and again and again and when I fail to love Him as He ought to be loved and fail to love others as I ought to. It's that love that, little by little, changes me to be more loving and giving and gracious to people.
So that's my year. I hope you have experienced the depth of God's love for you too.
Merry Christmas,
Wesley
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