Mephibosheth

I'd like to open up and share where I've really been, spiritually speaking, for the last several months. It's been a bittersweet place but I feel growth going on down deep inside me, though it is so, so frustratingly small and slow. A few months ago my pastor preached a sermon on 2 Samuel 9, the story of David and Mephibosheth. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the story, here's a brief synopsis. Mephibosheth was the son of Jonathan who was the son of Saul. Now Saul was the very first king of Israel. He was a man of great stature. Everything that a king should be from the perspective of the Israelites. Great power, handsome, strong, tall, etc. But he disobeyed the Lord. His heart was proud. He exalted himself. So God rejected Saul as king and had David, a simple, common shepherd boy anointed to rule next. Anyway, Saul's son, Jonathan, had a son and named him Mephibosheth. Now something happened early on in Mephibosheth's life that changed the rest of his life. While fleeing after Saul and Jonathan were killed in battle, Mephibosheth's nurse accidentally dropped him and he became crippled in both of his feet. Now that David has been given the kingship Mephibosheth is not only crippled and unable to function in normal life, but he's part of a dynasty that David and his family has replaced. Something to know about life in that era... when a new king rose to power it was pretty typical for him to show what kind of man he was by wiping out all others who might be perceived as having a claim to the throne. Mephibosheth was, by birth, an enemy of the reigning king of Israel and had David acted as a normal monarch in that area he wouldn't have lived more than a couple months following David's rise to power. But instead of wiping out this enemy (a crippled enemy no less) he lavishes grace on him. He restores his grandfather's lands to him and has him as a nightly guest in the palace. He treats him as one of the kings sons. A cripple. An enemy. And he's treated as a personal child of the king. Even typing this up makes me misty eyed. Mephibosheth says it so, so, so well "What is your servant, that you should notice a dead dog like me?" This is so often how I feel in my relationship with the Lord. He takes notice of me. I am so pathetically small and unable to cope with things that others seem to be able to deal with easily. And my heart is so dark. I still play the role of enemy so often in my walk with Jesus. I so often keep trying to usurp his rulership and claim the throne for my own but he keeps having mercy on me. He keeps having me for dinner at his table. He keeps telling me "I love you." without any qualifiers or conditions that I have to meet. And every time I come back asking for forgiveness it's given without any requirements or demands for me to change and not fail the next time. He just loves so well. 2 Samuel 9 is the biography the Lord has written for me.