Instead of another insipid round of self-evaluation like I would normally engage in on an occasion like New Year's Eve, I decided to focus on awesome things that God did this past year. Here goes!
1. I was let go from Walmart on December 26th, 2012 and spent a month searching for work in an economically stagnant Hanover. The day before I would have had to go through the application and hiring process again, I got a call from the HR office saying they'd like to bring me back on as a permanent employee. I was later told that I was the ONLY seasonal cashier that they called back. They were authorized to call one person back and I was the one they picked. That was a God-thing.
2. In February, I flew out to Phoenix, AZ to interview with the Arizona Teaching Fellows. I didn't make it into the program and was a bit bummed out by that fact. Mere weeks later, I realized that I really wasn't interested in teaching again after Korea. Can you imagine if I'd made it into that program, moved out to Phoenix and THEN realized I didn't like being a teacher?! God saved me from stepping in a big pile of it there!
3. After coming back from Phoenix, I started work at a turkey-processing plant in New Oxford. It was miserable and I hated every minute of it. I went back to Walmart and pleaded with them to give me my old job back. God made sure they hadn't hired another person to replace me yet and I was able to finish out the week and then return to a job that I didn't mind as much. And I got a great pair of galoshes out of the deal too!
4. I found a great place to live that I could afford on my budget shortly after that fiasco. Living on a part-time Walmart job isn't a great financial base and I had to pass up a few places before finding this one. It's been such a blessing though. The landlady is great, it comes furnished, and I even have money for extras now and then.
5. I started experiencing major tooth pain in April but I didn't have the income to see a dentist right away. The dentist referred me to a credit offer that would allow me to have an emergency root canal done with no interest for 6 months. I applied and was approved. I had the procedure done and God provided the money I needed to pay off the whole bill within the 6 month time frame.
6. God provided the finances I needed to travel down to Lynchburg in September for an interview in Student Accounts at Liberty. I didn't get the job but I had a great time visiting friends and resting. I think God just knew I needed a little break to enjoy myself but that I wouldn't "waste" money doing it just because.
7. When I felt the financial noose tightening in November, I became really upset thinking that I wouldn't get any sort of a Christmas celebration. The worst moods were the week before my hours started shooting through the roof and the 10% grocery discount went into effect. God gave me a terrific Christmas and even lovingly reminded me on Christmas Eve that He really was the greatest reason to celebrate and that I shouldn't be so fixated on giving or receiving gifts or enjoying nice food.
8. God has opened the door for me to really get to know my dad better. His schedule is pretty full but we've had enough time to visit just the two of us together a couple of times. I am thankful that I have this opportunity.
9. God did so many little things this year that I can't list because I don't remember them. I've become more aware of how richly He has blessed me in the past couple of months. Every Sunday, I learn more about His love for me and His grace and compassion. I've gotten to meet with my mentor Bruce several times. I'm getting ready to retake my driver's license test. I've become involved with two small group bible studies. I've been a member of eHarmony for a few months and have met people on there that I'm getting to know better. I've gotten a couple pieces of furniture that make my house feel more like a home. And on and on and on. And He's done these things in the face of my sinfulness and rebelliousness. He. Is. Awesome!
31 December 2013
29 December 2013
A Christmas 2014 Challenge
Every year I hear people talking about how Christmas has become too commercialized and every year we continue to just grumble and become stressed about the whole holiday season and just wish it was over. It is literally the same every year. First comes Thanksgiving, then special sales, then parties and gatherings, then Christmas Eve services, then opening many, many presents, then big meals, then "relaxing" and visiting. Have you noticed the presents? Most of them are so superficial. Everybody gets excited about them as Christmas Day approaches but by mid-February most (if not all of them) are forgotten. We buy a whole heap of stuff but usually by the following Christmas we struggle to remember what it was we got last time. Why is that? No, really. Why? So much money gets spent on presents but what we get out of them is not proportionate. Hence my idea...
Next Christmas, let's just NOT buy a whole TON of gifts! We'll save a little bit of money which (contrary to what some economists tell us) actually really helps the economy; especially when it's money that we don't have (aka credit cards). Now I'm not saying to not have gifts next Christmas. I'm not saying that staring at each other around the Christmas tree thinking "Gee! It's great being non-materialistic!" I'm not saying that at all. What I AM saying is let's THINK of one (or two) gifts that will really, really be appreciated by our loved ones. Let's stop thinking superficially about Christmas gifts and get things that really speak to each others' personalities. For some people, this will mean working little by little on a big art project from August to December. For some, this will mean writing something to a person that will stick with them as being really, truly heartfelt. For some, this will mean taking a lot of photos and compiling a scrapbook. For some, this will mean learning about ice fishing, buying a few cheap supplies and planning a trip up to Minnesota for father-son or brotherly bonding time. You get my point. Basically, let's think about what really matters to our loved ones and going above and beyond to give it to them for next Christmas. I challenge you. Choose one or two people that you really want to express your love to as a gift next Christmas and then do it.
After all, this is EXACTLY what God did for us at Christmas time. He had been thinking for millennia and gave the absolute perfect gift that is beyond our wildest dreams. Imagine if He had chosen to give us 10,000 little things but left out the big one. The exact same thing that happens for most of our Christmases would have happened on a grand scale. We'd have gotten tired of the novelty and forgotten them fast. Let's give gifts next Christmas on a small scale like God gave us on a large scale.
Next Christmas, let's just NOT buy a whole TON of gifts! We'll save a little bit of money which (contrary to what some economists tell us) actually really helps the economy; especially when it's money that we don't have (aka credit cards). Now I'm not saying to not have gifts next Christmas. I'm not saying that staring at each other around the Christmas tree thinking "Gee! It's great being non-materialistic!" I'm not saying that at all. What I AM saying is let's THINK of one (or two) gifts that will really, really be appreciated by our loved ones. Let's stop thinking superficially about Christmas gifts and get things that really speak to each others' personalities. For some people, this will mean working little by little on a big art project from August to December. For some, this will mean writing something to a person that will stick with them as being really, truly heartfelt. For some, this will mean taking a lot of photos and compiling a scrapbook. For some, this will mean learning about ice fishing, buying a few cheap supplies and planning a trip up to Minnesota for father-son or brotherly bonding time. You get my point. Basically, let's think about what really matters to our loved ones and going above and beyond to give it to them for next Christmas. I challenge you. Choose one or two people that you really want to express your love to as a gift next Christmas and then do it.
After all, this is EXACTLY what God did for us at Christmas time. He had been thinking for millennia and gave the absolute perfect gift that is beyond our wildest dreams. Imagine if He had chosen to give us 10,000 little things but left out the big one. The exact same thing that happens for most of our Christmases would have happened on a grand scale. We'd have gotten tired of the novelty and forgotten them fast. Let's give gifts next Christmas on a small scale like God gave us on a large scale.
14 December 2013
Christmas Letter of a Single Bachelor
Merry Christmas, everyone!
I remember when I was younger (perhaps 11 or 12), I used to really want to write a Christmas letter for my family because the idea was just such a romantic (in the sense of idealistic) one and I was already pretty serious at that age. So after seeing a couple different ones this year on Facebook and another blog I decided to have a go at it myself. Now the problem is that I'm the only one that's a part of my family unit (or at least the only visible one). And it's that parenthetical addition that let me feel that writing a letter from an unmarried, childless guy wasn't an exercise in narcissism or self-centeredness. Because when you know God, you're not the only one in your family unit and it makes all the difference in the world as you grow in that knowledge. So here's the story of me and my God and the goings-on of the past year.
I'll start a little bit before last year to give more context. I arrived back from two years of teaching English in Korea in August of 2012 planning to return in a month or two after a chance to regroup. I decided to do this myself and didn't bother consulting my Father about the decision. I simply decided that of course I would return because it was a good source of income. I'd been searching for a new school for the past couple of months and continued (in theory) for a couple weeks more into my vacation. My vacation consisted of traveling from Baltimore, MD to Amsterdam, NY to visit a close friend pastoring a church up there. I spent about 10 days with him and his new wife and their families. Mike was the first to urge me to reconsider returning to Korea. He knew it had been anything BUT a walk in the park for me spiritually and emotionally and urged me to consider the wisdom of it and consult my Father. He didn't press me on it, though, and my journey continued to the town of my alma mater, Liberty University, Lynchburg, VA.
So I stayed about a week in Lynchburg visiting my old haunts, seeing several friends and old church comrades. One of the nights while I was down there I had a rotten sleep and the thought "Should I really return to Korea?" kept flying around my head in a circle. I thought about the various logical aspects and weighing my desire to get married, the shortage of women who spoke fluent English over there, the spiritual struggles I'd encountered and the intense feelings of loneliness and isolation that had swept over my soul from time to time. In the end, I came to the conclusion that the ONLY reason I wanted to return was the money. So I consulted with a couple of older friends and they didn't feel that returning for solely financial reasons was honoring to God and displayed a lack of trust in His ability to provide for my needs. Well at that point I was a bit dazed realizing that I likely wouldn't be returning to Korea despite my having stored a lot of my personal possessions in a suitcase over there.
To complete my vacation, I flew out to the West Coast to visit another close friend and his wife and son in the small northern California town of Yreka. While there, I contacted my dad and expressed the situation I was in having decided not to return to Korea and needing a place to live. He and my stepmom, with incredible grace and understanding opened their home to me for a few months while I figured out how to get back on my feet again. A job was the first order and I found one shortly after starting my search at Walmart in October 2012. I have (more or less) been there for a full year making various excursions to different places in the search for more gainful employment.
The real theme of my life during the past year has been grace and contentment balanced by continuing to venture out to move forward in life. Among the things I can say I am most thankful for this year are my church (Hanover Valley) where I have sat under a man who preaches the fullness and depth of God's love for people who are weak and sinful and ignored or rejected by the world, my mentor Bruce for letting me share my life with him, and (more than anything) for the reality that my Father loves me so patiently when I get life wrong again and again and again and again and when I fail to love Him as He ought to be loved and fail to love others as I ought to. It's that love that, little by little, changes me to be more loving and giving and gracious to people.
So that's my year. I hope you have experienced the depth of God's love for you too.
Merry Christmas,
Wesley
I remember when I was younger (perhaps 11 or 12), I used to really want to write a Christmas letter for my family because the idea was just such a romantic (in the sense of idealistic) one and I was already pretty serious at that age. So after seeing a couple different ones this year on Facebook and another blog I decided to have a go at it myself. Now the problem is that I'm the only one that's a part of my family unit (or at least the only visible one). And it's that parenthetical addition that let me feel that writing a letter from an unmarried, childless guy wasn't an exercise in narcissism or self-centeredness. Because when you know God, you're not the only one in your family unit and it makes all the difference in the world as you grow in that knowledge. So here's the story of me and my God and the goings-on of the past year.
I'll start a little bit before last year to give more context. I arrived back from two years of teaching English in Korea in August of 2012 planning to return in a month or two after a chance to regroup. I decided to do this myself and didn't bother consulting my Father about the decision. I simply decided that of course I would return because it was a good source of income. I'd been searching for a new school for the past couple of months and continued (in theory) for a couple weeks more into my vacation. My vacation consisted of traveling from Baltimore, MD to Amsterdam, NY to visit a close friend pastoring a church up there. I spent about 10 days with him and his new wife and their families. Mike was the first to urge me to reconsider returning to Korea. He knew it had been anything BUT a walk in the park for me spiritually and emotionally and urged me to consider the wisdom of it and consult my Father. He didn't press me on it, though, and my journey continued to the town of my alma mater, Liberty University, Lynchburg, VA.
So I stayed about a week in Lynchburg visiting my old haunts, seeing several friends and old church comrades. One of the nights while I was down there I had a rotten sleep and the thought "Should I really return to Korea?" kept flying around my head in a circle. I thought about the various logical aspects and weighing my desire to get married, the shortage of women who spoke fluent English over there, the spiritual struggles I'd encountered and the intense feelings of loneliness and isolation that had swept over my soul from time to time. In the end, I came to the conclusion that the ONLY reason I wanted to return was the money. So I consulted with a couple of older friends and they didn't feel that returning for solely financial reasons was honoring to God and displayed a lack of trust in His ability to provide for my needs. Well at that point I was a bit dazed realizing that I likely wouldn't be returning to Korea despite my having stored a lot of my personal possessions in a suitcase over there.
To complete my vacation, I flew out to the West Coast to visit another close friend and his wife and son in the small northern California town of Yreka. While there, I contacted my dad and expressed the situation I was in having decided not to return to Korea and needing a place to live. He and my stepmom, with incredible grace and understanding opened their home to me for a few months while I figured out how to get back on my feet again. A job was the first order and I found one shortly after starting my search at Walmart in October 2012. I have (more or less) been there for a full year making various excursions to different places in the search for more gainful employment.
The real theme of my life during the past year has been grace and contentment balanced by continuing to venture out to move forward in life. Among the things I can say I am most thankful for this year are my church (Hanover Valley) where I have sat under a man who preaches the fullness and depth of God's love for people who are weak and sinful and ignored or rejected by the world, my mentor Bruce for letting me share my life with him, and (more than anything) for the reality that my Father loves me so patiently when I get life wrong again and again and again and again and when I fail to love Him as He ought to be loved and fail to love others as I ought to. It's that love that, little by little, changes me to be more loving and giving and gracious to people.
So that's my year. I hope you have experienced the depth of God's love for you too.
Merry Christmas,
Wesley
22 November 2013
Know God
Don't just know about him. Learn to trust him. Spend time with him daily. This is the only way to fight temptation. Imagine a married man working late at the office one day when his secretary tries to seduce him. Whether he gives in to temptation or not has everything to do with the quality of his marriage. Temptation in our lives cannot be fought effectively by constantly thinking of our justification any more than a man can resist the pull to have an affair by trying to remember his wedding ceremony. By all means, let the fact of your marriage lead you to spend as much time with your spouse as possible but don't just repeat the mantra "I'm married! I'm married! I'm married!" in the face of temptation as it's one of the least effective strategies. No mantra will ever bring you success in fighting temptation. You must KNOW your spouse to be beautiful and worthy of your commitment and more enjoyable than any other woman. Being able to resist temptation has much more to do with your ongoing, day-to-day walk with Christ than with the fact that you once trusted him as your savior. Abiding in his presence day by day is so necessary to ensure the health of your marriage. Pursue him today. NOT in order to become better or fight temptation more effectively but because of your justification. Spending time with your spouse in order to resist temptation is absurd! It's such a dishonor to your spouse! You're effectively saying that if you spend enough time in THEIR presence it'll make you want to never have sex with anyone ever again. In the same way, spending time with Christ can't be used IN ORDER TO resist temptation. It's an insult to him. You're effectively saying that if you spend enough time with Christ, you'll eventually just be content to be joyless and depressed. Christ is in the business of increasing desires, not shrinking them.
And don't be content with head knowledge! Beseech God for heart knowledge. Because that's the only kind of knowledge that really counts in the end.
And don't be content with head knowledge! Beseech God for heart knowledge. Because that's the only kind of knowledge that really counts in the end.
18 November 2013
An Extended Joke About Walmart's Bags
Once upon a time in a far off land called Wally World, there was a chain of stores called Walmart. The leader of the business, a man named King CEO, was a man of great means. He had a nice house, a helicopter, and even a bomb shelter equipped with enough supplies for more than a year. He was well-respected by everyone who crossed paths with him and enjoyed many things that the commoners of Wally World didn't even know existed. Speaking of the commoners, thousands of them were employed as serfs in his stores. They worked hard, treated each customer as well as they could and did it for a small allowance of money that King CEO deigned to give them. The customers loved King CEO's stores because of the low prices that helped them live better. And because the lowly serfs always seemed relatively happy, they assumed that all was well in King CEO's kingdom.
But things were not well. The king, wanting to conserve his wealth, organized his kingdom so that the work of 10 people could be accomplished by only 3 or 4. The pay of the 3 or 4 would stay the same but they were required to accomplish the same amount of work. Some of the serfs were trained as cashiers. Their duties included greeting each customer, helping them check out with their purchases and bagging the items so as to make it easier to carry out to their various modes of transportation. In the early days of King CEO's reign, the bags were made relatively well and customers had the opportunity to choose between paper and plastic. The bags would occasionally tear but on the whole they were of a fairly high quality. As the years went by, though, the king desired to save even more money so he told his noble lords to decrease the bag quality so as to retain more of the kingdom's wealth. So they did. Then they did it again a few years later. Eventually, they did it so much that sometimes quantities of bags were delivered from the factories with defects that prevented them from being used. Even the customers began to hate the bags after a while. Some of them had experienced bags breaking in the parking lots or at home and food or other goods being ruined by falling. All was not well.
One day, a lowly cashier named Bob made his way to King CEO's palace to propose an idea to the wise monarch. He was cautiously ushered into the inner sanctum where King CEO sat enthroned on a grand throne made of recycled shopping carts dipped in liquid gold.
"Your majesty," spoke Bob.
"Yes, peasant?" replied King CEO.
"I have a wonderful idea, my lord. One that could increase both the luxury of our stores and the cost of operating."
"Have you? Let me hear it!"
"If my lord will permit me, I will show him a bag made of such fine quality and such extraordinary durability that it is absolutely invisible to anyone who is foolish."
"Show me!"
At this, Bob performed a flourish with his hands to present the so-called bag. Of course, there was nothing there.
"Now of course your majesty is not a fool so you can clearly see what wonderful fabric this bag is composed of and feel the thickness and durability of the material," said Bob as he placed the "bag" in the open hands of the king.
Not wanting to be thought a fool by this peasant, the king exclaimed, "By Jove! What a wonderful bag this is! How is it that I have never seen or felt a bag such as this yet? It must be very expensive!"
"Not at all, sire! As a matter of fact, I have found a factory that is willing to produce this bag for 10% less than the bags your stores are using now!"
"Great Scott! Order the factory to begin at once! Tell them that they will be the only supplier Walmart works with!"
"One more thing, your majesty!" exclaimed Bob.
"Yes? What is it?"
"We in your stores feel that the great honor of being the first customer to check out with such a wonderful bag should be you, our sovereign leader."
"I agree!"
"It will take about three days for the factory to produce as many bags as will be necessary to replace the bags being used now. So I propose that in 3 days, my Lord shall enter the Walmart store here in Benton-villia where national news crews will capture our gracious Sovereign being the first to use these magnificent bags."
"Wonderful! If you weren't a serf, I would make you second in command of the vast Walmart empire but as it is it would cause far too much scandal. So instead, I will award you one dress down day wherein you can wear any clothing you desire as long as it is not obscene."
"Thank you, sire! Oh thank you! Thank you so much! From the bottom of my heart! Oh my kind Lord!"
On this, Bob exited the royal pavilion and returned to save customers money so they could live better.
Three days later, the Walmart store in Benton-villia was far, far too crowded. Many film crews had arrived from both local and national news networks. It was around 10 am when King CEO appeared in the store. The first place he went was electronics. When they told him they didn't have any iPhones dipped in gold, he disappointedly walked to the grocery section and, on seeing the many flavors of yogurt, picked up many of them. Moving down to the pasta aisle, he suddenly got a craving for spaghetti and loaded his cart with many exotic flavors of sauce and many different jars of salsa. Finally, he bought all of the Ben and Jerry's pints in the ice cream section.
"Welcome, my lord, my liege!" exclaimed Bob as the king entered his line.
"Hello, young squire!"
"Did you find everything you were looking for today?"
"You didn't have iPhones dipped in gold. I was a bit disappointed."
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry, my Lord! Methinks you should propose the idea to Congress. Perhaps they can legislate the release of such a product."
As each item was scanned, it was placed in the bagging area by Bob's agile hands. The king moved forward and began to load each "bag" into his cart. The moisture from the yogurt and ice cream, mixing with Bob's lotion which he applied abundantly, made the spaghetti and salsa jars fairly slippery. The entire order took about ten minutes to ring up while many customers and other serfs gazed on in wonder as the king slowly loaded each "bag" into his cart. Several times, a jar of tomato sauce or salsa slipped through the king's hands and smashed on the floor, soiling the king's pants. Bob would instantly say "What wonderful bags these are, aren't they, my king?" "By Thor, they're wonderful!" The serfs held their breath with each broken jar knowing that they could be liable to be terminated on the king's command. Finally, a little boy in one of the carts looked at his father, laughed, and said, "Why doesn't that silly man use bags?" On this, the serfs could no longer hold it in but busted out laughing. The king, humiliated, ran from the store as tomato sauce, yogurt, salsa and ice cream dripped from his legs and crotch.
The End
But things were not well. The king, wanting to conserve his wealth, organized his kingdom so that the work of 10 people could be accomplished by only 3 or 4. The pay of the 3 or 4 would stay the same but they were required to accomplish the same amount of work. Some of the serfs were trained as cashiers. Their duties included greeting each customer, helping them check out with their purchases and bagging the items so as to make it easier to carry out to their various modes of transportation. In the early days of King CEO's reign, the bags were made relatively well and customers had the opportunity to choose between paper and plastic. The bags would occasionally tear but on the whole they were of a fairly high quality. As the years went by, though, the king desired to save even more money so he told his noble lords to decrease the bag quality so as to retain more of the kingdom's wealth. So they did. Then they did it again a few years later. Eventually, they did it so much that sometimes quantities of bags were delivered from the factories with defects that prevented them from being used. Even the customers began to hate the bags after a while. Some of them had experienced bags breaking in the parking lots or at home and food or other goods being ruined by falling. All was not well.
One day, a lowly cashier named Bob made his way to King CEO's palace to propose an idea to the wise monarch. He was cautiously ushered into the inner sanctum where King CEO sat enthroned on a grand throne made of recycled shopping carts dipped in liquid gold.
"Your majesty," spoke Bob.
"Yes, peasant?" replied King CEO.
"I have a wonderful idea, my lord. One that could increase both the luxury of our stores and the cost of operating."
"Have you? Let me hear it!"
"If my lord will permit me, I will show him a bag made of such fine quality and such extraordinary durability that it is absolutely invisible to anyone who is foolish."
"Show me!"
At this, Bob performed a flourish with his hands to present the so-called bag. Of course, there was nothing there.
"Now of course your majesty is not a fool so you can clearly see what wonderful fabric this bag is composed of and feel the thickness and durability of the material," said Bob as he placed the "bag" in the open hands of the king.
Not wanting to be thought a fool by this peasant, the king exclaimed, "By Jove! What a wonderful bag this is! How is it that I have never seen or felt a bag such as this yet? It must be very expensive!"
"Not at all, sire! As a matter of fact, I have found a factory that is willing to produce this bag for 10% less than the bags your stores are using now!"
"Great Scott! Order the factory to begin at once! Tell them that they will be the only supplier Walmart works with!"
"One more thing, your majesty!" exclaimed Bob.
"Yes? What is it?"
"We in your stores feel that the great honor of being the first customer to check out with such a wonderful bag should be you, our sovereign leader."
"I agree!"
"It will take about three days for the factory to produce as many bags as will be necessary to replace the bags being used now. So I propose that in 3 days, my Lord shall enter the Walmart store here in Benton-villia where national news crews will capture our gracious Sovereign being the first to use these magnificent bags."
"Wonderful! If you weren't a serf, I would make you second in command of the vast Walmart empire but as it is it would cause far too much scandal. So instead, I will award you one dress down day wherein you can wear any clothing you desire as long as it is not obscene."
"Thank you, sire! Oh thank you! Thank you so much! From the bottom of my heart! Oh my kind Lord!"
On this, Bob exited the royal pavilion and returned to save customers money so they could live better.
Three days later, the Walmart store in Benton-villia was far, far too crowded. Many film crews had arrived from both local and national news networks. It was around 10 am when King CEO appeared in the store. The first place he went was electronics. When they told him they didn't have any iPhones dipped in gold, he disappointedly walked to the grocery section and, on seeing the many flavors of yogurt, picked up many of them. Moving down to the pasta aisle, he suddenly got a craving for spaghetti and loaded his cart with many exotic flavors of sauce and many different jars of salsa. Finally, he bought all of the Ben and Jerry's pints in the ice cream section.
"Welcome, my lord, my liege!" exclaimed Bob as the king entered his line.
"Hello, young squire!"
"Did you find everything you were looking for today?"
"You didn't have iPhones dipped in gold. I was a bit disappointed."
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry, my Lord! Methinks you should propose the idea to Congress. Perhaps they can legislate the release of such a product."
As each item was scanned, it was placed in the bagging area by Bob's agile hands. The king moved forward and began to load each "bag" into his cart. The moisture from the yogurt and ice cream, mixing with Bob's lotion which he applied abundantly, made the spaghetti and salsa jars fairly slippery. The entire order took about ten minutes to ring up while many customers and other serfs gazed on in wonder as the king slowly loaded each "bag" into his cart. Several times, a jar of tomato sauce or salsa slipped through the king's hands and smashed on the floor, soiling the king's pants. Bob would instantly say "What wonderful bags these are, aren't they, my king?" "By Thor, they're wonderful!" The serfs held their breath with each broken jar knowing that they could be liable to be terminated on the king's command. Finally, a little boy in one of the carts looked at his father, laughed, and said, "Why doesn't that silly man use bags?" On this, the serfs could no longer hold it in but busted out laughing. The king, humiliated, ran from the store as tomato sauce, yogurt, salsa and ice cream dripped from his legs and crotch.
The End
06 November 2013
Absolute Hilarity
Okay! Prepare yourselves! I'm actually going to post something on this blog that is NOT serious! Not at all! In the interests of becoming a bit more down to earth, I'm going to share something about myself that's just funny. Neither of my parents would have said our family was just chock-full of laughter. All of us were serious the majority of the time. And when we DID laugh, it would usually be limited to a small to moderately-sized chuckle. And don't get me wrong... being serious is a good thing sometimes. But taking ourselves too seriously is always a recipe for disaster. So here goes:
After leaving my parents' home, my sense of humor slowly deviated from theirs. I developed a far more random streak in what I found funny. And in some ways I was just learning what it meant to let loose and have a good belly-laugh. But the thing was that, not being used to laughing, it sometimes popped out of me at inappropriate times. For instance, in my freshman year at Liberty, we were studying the poem "Out, Out--" by Robert Frost in my composition class. The poem starts out as though it's going to just describe a very rustic, peaceful setting. There is a boy cutting wood in the front yard with a buzz saw, he's looking at the scenery and describing it when all of a sudden, the kid's hand gets whacked off by the saw! The way the professor was talking about this poem, I decided, was simply the most hilarious thing I'd ever heard. "Whooooo! There goes his hand!" The laughter started building up in my chest the way storm clouds swiftly rolling in signals the downpour that's about to start. And then came the torrents! I just started laughing crazily, my whole body shaking with the hilarious image of that amputated hand just flying up into the air! "Wheeeeeeee!" And the most hilariously embarrassing thing was that the content of the poem hadn't inspired so much as a chuckle from most of my classmates. I was just sitting there trying to stop myself from crying at this hilariously absurd image. I think the professor had been intending his description to elicit a mild snicker from his students but when only a couple of students had done so, he was happy to see someone that appreciated this mildly amusing phrasing and was going to town with it. My friend sitting behind me had commenced patting me on the back whispering "Calm down, Wes. It's okay. Relax." And after a while, the laughing ceased and calm resumed. Now for one more!
Similar in content, this story was, perhaps, an escalation of my level of excitement. In my Sophomore and Junior years, I studied German to fulfill my language requirements. However, halfway through completing my requirements, the German courses were dropped due to the fact that the one and only qualified German professor left. So I was forced to find a new language (fortunately, they let the two credits stand as going toward the ultimate goal of studying a language) and decided on Greek. My first Greek professor was a lot of fun but he, unfortunately, only taught the first class in the subject. So for my second semester of Greek, I took a (somewhat eccentric) middle aged professor. I believe this guy had been using the same jokes sprinkled liberally throughout every semester for as long as he'd been teaching. He thought they were really good jokes and would always make himself chuckle when using them during the lecture. The first time, they were very mildly funny. They perhaps elicited a very mild chuckle from the students. But by the second time, they were no longer funny. By the fifth time, they'd most definitely worn out their welcome. By the tenth time (sometimes reached within the period of two subsequent lectures), they did not elicit any response at all. But, and perhaps he intended this, when they rolled around for the twentieth or thirtieth time, they suddenly became great! Or rather, the jokes themselves hadn't become great but the fact that he still laughed at them himself became great! So one day I am sitting there next to a friend when they roll around just one time too many and I just start to lose it. I scribble a quick note to my friend whilst trying (somewhat successfully) to restrain my case of the giggles. "I've cracked!!!" it read, and was accompanied by a hilariously scribbled picture of someone who'd clearly gone insane. My laughter became so hard to hold in that I actually started slipping from my chair as my body was wracked with laughter too hard to control. "I think Wes liked my joke!" came the statement from the head of the classroom. This simply made me shake harder with undiscovered reservoirs of laughter that had perhaps lain dormant for most of my life. All the giggles I should have had as a kid, a preadolescent, a teenager, and a young adult had seemingly been tapped into and I tried to squeeze out the words "May I please go to the bathroom?" between the uproarious squirts of glee. So I got out, got a drink of water, and came back and (for the most part) that was that. So there you have it! Two stories of absolutely hilarious goings-on in the life of Wes. Hope you enjoyed it!
After leaving my parents' home, my sense of humor slowly deviated from theirs. I developed a far more random streak in what I found funny. And in some ways I was just learning what it meant to let loose and have a good belly-laugh. But the thing was that, not being used to laughing, it sometimes popped out of me at inappropriate times. For instance, in my freshman year at Liberty, we were studying the poem "Out, Out--" by Robert Frost in my composition class. The poem starts out as though it's going to just describe a very rustic, peaceful setting. There is a boy cutting wood in the front yard with a buzz saw, he's looking at the scenery and describing it when all of a sudden, the kid's hand gets whacked off by the saw! The way the professor was talking about this poem, I decided, was simply the most hilarious thing I'd ever heard. "Whooooo! There goes his hand!" The laughter started building up in my chest the way storm clouds swiftly rolling in signals the downpour that's about to start. And then came the torrents! I just started laughing crazily, my whole body shaking with the hilarious image of that amputated hand just flying up into the air! "Wheeeeeeee!" And the most hilariously embarrassing thing was that the content of the poem hadn't inspired so much as a chuckle from most of my classmates. I was just sitting there trying to stop myself from crying at this hilariously absurd image. I think the professor had been intending his description to elicit a mild snicker from his students but when only a couple of students had done so, he was happy to see someone that appreciated this mildly amusing phrasing and was going to town with it. My friend sitting behind me had commenced patting me on the back whispering "Calm down, Wes. It's okay. Relax." And after a while, the laughing ceased and calm resumed. Now for one more!
Similar in content, this story was, perhaps, an escalation of my level of excitement. In my Sophomore and Junior years, I studied German to fulfill my language requirements. However, halfway through completing my requirements, the German courses were dropped due to the fact that the one and only qualified German professor left. So I was forced to find a new language (fortunately, they let the two credits stand as going toward the ultimate goal of studying a language) and decided on Greek. My first Greek professor was a lot of fun but he, unfortunately, only taught the first class in the subject. So for my second semester of Greek, I took a (somewhat eccentric) middle aged professor. I believe this guy had been using the same jokes sprinkled liberally throughout every semester for as long as he'd been teaching. He thought they were really good jokes and would always make himself chuckle when using them during the lecture. The first time, they were very mildly funny. They perhaps elicited a very mild chuckle from the students. But by the second time, they were no longer funny. By the fifth time, they'd most definitely worn out their welcome. By the tenth time (sometimes reached within the period of two subsequent lectures), they did not elicit any response at all. But, and perhaps he intended this, when they rolled around for the twentieth or thirtieth time, they suddenly became great! Or rather, the jokes themselves hadn't become great but the fact that he still laughed at them himself became great! So one day I am sitting there next to a friend when they roll around just one time too many and I just start to lose it. I scribble a quick note to my friend whilst trying (somewhat successfully) to restrain my case of the giggles. "I've cracked!!!" it read, and was accompanied by a hilariously scribbled picture of someone who'd clearly gone insane. My laughter became so hard to hold in that I actually started slipping from my chair as my body was wracked with laughter too hard to control. "I think Wes liked my joke!" came the statement from the head of the classroom. This simply made me shake harder with undiscovered reservoirs of laughter that had perhaps lain dormant for most of my life. All the giggles I should have had as a kid, a preadolescent, a teenager, and a young adult had seemingly been tapped into and I tried to squeeze out the words "May I please go to the bathroom?" between the uproarious squirts of glee. So I got out, got a drink of water, and came back and (for the most part) that was that. So there you have it! Two stories of absolutely hilarious goings-on in the life of Wes. Hope you enjoyed it!
22 October 2013
Is Christianity Just About Positive Thinking?
There is a growing movement of people in Christianity these days who are well versed in the popular psychology enunciated by Norman Vincent Peale in his book "The Power of Positive Thinking". Mr. Peale, a professing Christian himself and a minister, advocates channeling our thoughts away from negative things like hurt, loneliness, anger, depression, and fear. His book, when released in 1952, caught on like wildfire. And it's very understandable why this happened. After all, who doesn't want to start living a hopeful, upbeat, happy, brave life? As a matter of fact, this idea seems to be backed up by certain portions of Scripture. For instance, Paul tells us "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think on these things." And those of us who know God know that He doesn't want his children walking under condemnation, fear, loneliness, and despair. But is Mr. Peale's methodology simply straight, truthful Christianity or does it deviate from the gospel of God's grace? Does being a Christian really just mean thinking happy thoughts and learning to turn off anything that speaks negatively? Joel Osteen and other contemporary pastors certainly seem to think so! And the man seems to be such a happy, upbeat kind of guy that we think that he must be on to something.
My main problem with this "Gospel of Positive Thinking" is that when it is backed by God's Word, the Bible, large portions of scripture must be ignored. When Paul tells us that we should think about things that are true, noble, right, etc. he's being inspired by the Holy Spirit. But that same Holy Spirit inspired Solomon to write "It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart." and, two verses later, "The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure." And Jesus himself said that "Blessed are those who mourn..." in Matthew 5:4. These Scriptures are a bit depressing! If I was hanging out with Solomon, I might have thought "Geez! This guy is a downer!" but what he says is truth. I don't think Mr. Osteen or other pastoral advocates of Peale's philosophy would want to preach a sermon on these texts! So they simply ignore them.
Another problem I have with this false gospel is that it is incredibly calloused and insensitive to people who are going through legitimate, extremely painful sufferings in their life! There is a man in my church who was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's Disease (ALS) a couple of years ago. This disease is horrible! Over the past couple of years, my friend has lost control of his muscles. The only things he can do now are smile, cry, and use his eyes to type very brief messages with great difficulty on his computer. Can you imagine how much pain it would cause him and his family to show up at their house on a bad day and say "Come on guys! Cheer up! This situation isn't so bad! Just forget about the disease and think about what a nice day it is outside and how great it is just to be alive! Stop being gloomy!"
The central problem where this entire philosophy breaks down is that people focusing on thinking positively have to ignore so much of reality! There is a veritable cornucopia of really horrible, bad, nasty things that these people have to dodge thinking about. School shootings, cancer, AIDS, poverty, hate crimes, racism, tumors, bullying, mental disease, physical disease, emotional bondage, etc. The fact of the matter is that we live in a world where these things exist and they suck! You'll never hear a sermon on "The Positive Side of Sexual Assault". To maintain a positive mindset in this philosophy, you must ignore or downplay a wide range of really bad, really evil, really painful things.
So am I saying, then, that Christians should be gloomy, depressed, discouraged, overwhelmed, fearful people? No! As a matter of fact, there are promises in scripture that God's people will be full of joy and peace. When Paul lists the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22, he says, "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." How does the Christian come into this loving, joyful, peaceful life? By ignoring the bad stuff and focusing only on the good stuff? No. I say again, no. The Christian is completely aware that there are really bad things in this world. Really hard, depressing, discouraging, frustrating things. But these people have seen the grace of God, the kindness he shows us, and the power he has in this world. They have seen the bad things face off against the good things and they know the good, the beautiful, the lovely will ultimately win. They sometimes lose sight of the goodness of God and his power because the proximity of the really bad things seems so much closer than the good but they always come back to knowing that God has power over the evil. They know that even when the bad things seem to have the upper hand and it looks like they're going to overpower God's grace and sovereignty, it is not the end of the story.
When Jesus' close friend Lazarus became sick, Jesus postponed visiting him until after he was dead. Why? Because he was trying to stop focusing on bad things like sickness and death? No. Because he wanted his disciples to see that the ultimate bad thing (death) didn't even stand in the way of the grace and power of God. When he finally showed up, did Jesus look at Mary and Martha and say "Come on, guys! Cheer up! It's okay. Eventually, you'll get over your brother's death and you'll be able to enjoy life again. Focus on that hope."? No. In the shortest verse in Scripture, it records "Jesus wept." He did not stand stiffly optimistic or try to draw their attention to something good they had going on. He cried with them. And I know he cries with us still. But the gospel of God's grace is that HE WILL WIN! Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not for a hundred thousand more years of living in this wretched, stinking, hell hole we call Earth. But in the end THERE IS NOT A CHANCE OF SEEING DEFEAT! We may live miserable, discouraged, boring, depressing lives every day that we are alive and we may lose sight of His hope on a daily basis and go around living under condemnation and fear and despair for long periods of time but he WILL NOT LET GO OF US! That is the gospel of God's grace. Breathe it in again.
My main problem with this "Gospel of Positive Thinking" is that when it is backed by God's Word, the Bible, large portions of scripture must be ignored. When Paul tells us that we should think about things that are true, noble, right, etc. he's being inspired by the Holy Spirit. But that same Holy Spirit inspired Solomon to write "It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart." and, two verses later, "The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure." And Jesus himself said that "Blessed are those who mourn..." in Matthew 5:4. These Scriptures are a bit depressing! If I was hanging out with Solomon, I might have thought "Geez! This guy is a downer!" but what he says is truth. I don't think Mr. Osteen or other pastoral advocates of Peale's philosophy would want to preach a sermon on these texts! So they simply ignore them.
Another problem I have with this false gospel is that it is incredibly calloused and insensitive to people who are going through legitimate, extremely painful sufferings in their life! There is a man in my church who was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's Disease (ALS) a couple of years ago. This disease is horrible! Over the past couple of years, my friend has lost control of his muscles. The only things he can do now are smile, cry, and use his eyes to type very brief messages with great difficulty on his computer. Can you imagine how much pain it would cause him and his family to show up at their house on a bad day and say "Come on guys! Cheer up! This situation isn't so bad! Just forget about the disease and think about what a nice day it is outside and how great it is just to be alive! Stop being gloomy!"
The central problem where this entire philosophy breaks down is that people focusing on thinking positively have to ignore so much of reality! There is a veritable cornucopia of really horrible, bad, nasty things that these people have to dodge thinking about. School shootings, cancer, AIDS, poverty, hate crimes, racism, tumors, bullying, mental disease, physical disease, emotional bondage, etc. The fact of the matter is that we live in a world where these things exist and they suck! You'll never hear a sermon on "The Positive Side of Sexual Assault". To maintain a positive mindset in this philosophy, you must ignore or downplay a wide range of really bad, really evil, really painful things.
So am I saying, then, that Christians should be gloomy, depressed, discouraged, overwhelmed, fearful people? No! As a matter of fact, there are promises in scripture that God's people will be full of joy and peace. When Paul lists the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22, he says, "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." How does the Christian come into this loving, joyful, peaceful life? By ignoring the bad stuff and focusing only on the good stuff? No. I say again, no. The Christian is completely aware that there are really bad things in this world. Really hard, depressing, discouraging, frustrating things. But these people have seen the grace of God, the kindness he shows us, and the power he has in this world. They have seen the bad things face off against the good things and they know the good, the beautiful, the lovely will ultimately win. They sometimes lose sight of the goodness of God and his power because the proximity of the really bad things seems so much closer than the good but they always come back to knowing that God has power over the evil. They know that even when the bad things seem to have the upper hand and it looks like they're going to overpower God's grace and sovereignty, it is not the end of the story.
When Jesus' close friend Lazarus became sick, Jesus postponed visiting him until after he was dead. Why? Because he was trying to stop focusing on bad things like sickness and death? No. Because he wanted his disciples to see that the ultimate bad thing (death) didn't even stand in the way of the grace and power of God. When he finally showed up, did Jesus look at Mary and Martha and say "Come on, guys! Cheer up! It's okay. Eventually, you'll get over your brother's death and you'll be able to enjoy life again. Focus on that hope."? No. In the shortest verse in Scripture, it records "Jesus wept." He did not stand stiffly optimistic or try to draw their attention to something good they had going on. He cried with them. And I know he cries with us still. But the gospel of God's grace is that HE WILL WIN! Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not for a hundred thousand more years of living in this wretched, stinking, hell hole we call Earth. But in the end THERE IS NOT A CHANCE OF SEEING DEFEAT! We may live miserable, discouraged, boring, depressing lives every day that we are alive and we may lose sight of His hope on a daily basis and go around living under condemnation and fear and despair for long periods of time but he WILL NOT LET GO OF US! That is the gospel of God's grace. Breathe it in again.
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